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| Another story about how AWESOME God is...
So some of you might know that I've been planning to move to Huntsville
after graduation and keep working at Carolina Creek, yay! However,
there was one minor detail that was yet to work out, and that was my
living situation. Because everyone I know who goes to Sam already has
roommate, etc, I was facing the likely possibility of having to just
rent a one bedroom apartment by myself for the spring semester, and
then hopefully after next summer work something else out. Expensive.
Well, on Wednesday Keith and Carrie were here recruiting and
interviewing for camp this summer, and there were no girl interviews so
CO and I went to Temple for a while. We were talking about me moving
down, and the whole living situation. I told her what it looked like
and she was like "that's not good Hud, that's gonna be expensive." Then
we got back and I had to go to class, and they had to leave for SFA for
more recruiting and interviews (by the way, if you're interested in
working at the Creek or just finding out more, there's info and apps at
www.carolinacreek.org)
So I got back to my apartment after class... I had been here maybe 10
minutes when I get a message on my wall from Mon- "so i might have
found you a place to live." I about fell out of my chair. She forwarded
me a message from a couple of girls at Sam who had a roommate back out
last minute and needed a 3rd roommate for the spring. She was like are
you interested and I was like heck yes, so she messaged them. Long
story short, they hadn't found anyone yet and so they were excited, I
got their phone numbers and talked to one of them last night, and I'm
going to meet them Sunday afternoon and hammer out details.
I'm just so in awe of God right now and how sovereign he is. I had
completely forgotten that morning's conversation with CO until I got
the message from Mon, and even then when it was still just a maybe I
was like God, I'm putting this all in your hands cause you already know
what's gonna happen anyways. He's also providing for me, cause this is
gonna be way cheaper than living alone, and also CO has a couple of
connections and she is getting me a couple of meetings with some
potential jobs in Huntsville for during the week in the spring. I'm
just blown away... I told Ragan yesterday that I was just like "ok God,
now you're just showing off how stinkin cool you are, but I love it!"
He's so good to me!
I told Bethany last night that all semester I've been living "walk by
faith, not by sight" (2 Cor 5:7) and it has been really tough a lot of
the time, but now I'm starting to see, and it is amazing! Not just with
the whole apartment thing, but my walk in general... God has been
blowing me away this week every day and I'm just loving every minute of
it. Thank you Jesus!
*add-on* As long as I'm talking about how awesome God is, I might as well post my testimony on here as well as my facebook and myspace profiles... so here it is... and I apologize for the length of this post...
“Not to us, O Lord, but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness.” –Psalm 115:4
God, it’s my heart that people will see you in my story… not my
mistakes or my circumstances, but you bringing me through it all,
proving yourself to be faithful even when I was faithless (2 Tim 2:13)…
amen.
Pretty much my whole life I was the good girl who never got in trouble.
I went to church every week cause my parents made me, but it never was
really personal to me, just the thing to do. I became a Christian when
I was 15, after God made me realize I wouldn’t ever be good enough on
my own, but unfortunately it didn't really change anything about how I
lived my life. I went along coasting through high school doing things
my own way, and I guess I thought I didn’t really need God to help me
run my life. Even though I had some friends, I felt like I didn’t fit
in anywhere. I was really lonely and went through a lot of depression
and stuff in my freshman and sophomore years. Then I started having
more “friends” who were popular, and so I tried to fit in with them and
be like them, wearing the same clothes, listening to the same music,
cussing because that’s what everyone else did. Praise God I never got
into partying or anything serious, but other than that there was
nothing in my life to make all the people around me realize I was a
Christian other than having all the right answers at church on Sundays.
I was FCA president and led meetings each week on Thursdays before
school, then cussed my way through basketball practice and left school
with my rap music blaring. I was pretty much your average hypocritical
Christian. Then the summer before my senior year I was sexually
assaulted by a guy I knew in the weight room of our school. My
experience was about as mild as such things can be, but it still
crushed me. I felt guilty, dirty, and worthless all at the same time,
and spent most of the past 4 years up until this summer trying to make
myself believe it never happened.
I came to UMHB because I was recruited to play golf. At the time that
was my only reason for coming here, but praise God he had a lot more in
store for me than that. I got assigned a roommate who was a strong
Christian and also the first person I'd ever seen who actually lived
for Jesus. She was a big influence on me during my freshman year, but I
also had people in my life who were not encouraging me to grow in my
faith, and I got into the whole going to the club scene. I still was
not drinking or even going to parties, but I did go to the club and
definitely not doing anything godly there. For a good part of my first
semester I struggled to make new friends, and a lot of the feelings of
not belonging came back along with more depression. By the end of my
freshman year I was in a relationship that was not glorifying God in
any way, far away from God, and miserable. One night that summer, God
completely broke me down. I was working with little girls at my church,
and when I looked at my life I realized that I was not the kind of role
model they should have. I spent hours crying that night, and cried out
to God and told him that I was tired of living an empty life doing
things my way and wanted to really give my life to him. Jeremiah 29:13
says that we will find God when we seek him with our whole heart, and I
definitely found that he was faithful to that promise as I started
really seeking to grow in my relationship with him, and I started
learning what it meant to truly have a relationship with Jesus Christ
not only as my Savior but also as the Lord of my life. As a result of
this he started giving me all kinds of ministry opportunities. I was
blessed to serve on a mission trip to Greece the next summer, and I
also worked two weeks of FCA camp. Then this past summer I had the most
amazing three months of my life working at Carolina Creek Christian
Camp. It was here that God brought some amazing godly friends into my
life to challenge and encourage me, and he also made me deal with my
past of being assaulted and I was able to start healing from that. He
has blessed me so much to be able to continue working at the Creek this
semester, and now to be able to move to Huntsville after graduation and
continue in ministry there. Even though I have made many mistakes in my
life, God never stopped loving me and pouring out his grace on me even
when it was so completely undeserved. He is bigger than any
circumstance we may face in life, and even the things that the world
sees as harmful to us can be used by God to bring about good. I guess
what I want to say most is that our Father is so good and so faithful,
and there is nothing more fulfilling than living for him. It won’t
always be easy, but it is definitely the adventure of a lifetime and he
will always be with you every step of the way. Thank you Jesus for
loving me so much!
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| so i've decided to say goodbye to xanga, at least for the meantime... cause no one really reads this anymore, and the few people who do still use xanga also have a facebook or myspace or both... so if you desparately need to contact me online for anything, look me up on one of those two... holla... | | |
| monica (my best friend from camp) wrote this on her facebook profile, and it blew me away... so i'm borrowing it to post on here as well and maybe it will bless someone else as much as it just blessed me. Imagine in the background is the most beautiful sunset imaginable. The entire sky is bursting of blues, purples, pinks, oranges and golden yellow colors as the sun sinks into the fluffy, cotton candy clouds. This is my Lord's masterpiece for the evening. He's sitting on a golden throne looking tall, powerful, majestic and yet so tender and kind. He looks over at me and with love in His eyes, says nothing but I know He wants me to stop even for just a moment and enjoy His new painting. He wants to see the joy in my eyes as I take in all the colors as they gently fade. I can feel His eyes on my face as I watch in wonder at His evening gift to me. Even as the darkness comes His face still beams with it's magnificence. He's sitting tall and strong on His royal throne. His arms are so strong and tan and muscular. He holds a shield in one work roughened hand. On His head over His golden curls is the most beautiful crown with the finest jewels embedded into the shiny solid gold. I can see my reflection in the gold and in the jewels. He's dressed in full armor always ready for battle, always ready to protect me. Sometimes when He gets angry the storm clouds roll in with all their might and some tremble in fear at the sight of Him but they don't really know Him. But it is here in these moments that I could just sit at His feet in awe and gaze at His beauty all day and all night. These people don't see Him as I do. They don't see Him when He holds me in His arms comforting me as He pets my hair and softly kisses the top of my head. They don't see Him kiss my tears as they roll down my cheeks. I know that if He could take away my pain He would. But He knows that sometimes we have to go through painful things so He opens His arms wide for me to run to when they do. When I'm surrounded and overwhelmed I can run to Him. He already has His sword drawn. I hide behind His shield and take refuge in the might of my Lord. I have no fear because He has already won the battle. I have no strength of my own but when I stand up in my own armor against those who would see me fall, all they see is God behind me. I have no strength of my own. It all comes from Him. | | |
| as i was leaving walmart tonight, i got hit on by a 40-something year old man on a motorcycle... i can count on one hand the number of times i've felt more repulsed and disgusted in my life... UGH
in other news, i'm spending the entire labor day weekend in huntsville, first working another retreat at camp (yay for being an intern at the best place in the world!), then after the retreat is over i get to hang out with my best creek friend sunday night and monday... what could be better?!  | | |
| what an amazing summer. i can't even begin to describe everything that happened, and just how in awe i am of how good God is.
it's frustrating to be back here, because i am not the same person i was 3 months ago, and i don't know how to explain that to people here and make them understand. KO was so right when he told us that we'll never be able to fully explain this summer to anyone outside the creek family. we were truly family... for the first time in my life this summer, i experienced christian community as it is meant to be, as the acts 2 church models for us. i've never been surrounded by so many people who genuinely cared about me and loved me and encouraged me and challenged me as i was this summer.
God is so faithful. he lets us get down to the absolute end of everything we have left of our own strength, until we realize that we truly have nothing and he is all we need. he did that with me this summer several times. brokeness is so hard but at the same time so sweet. i praise God for all the healing and growing he has brought in my heart this summer and especially the last month.
i don't even know what to say about camp itself. most of my kids were amazing. others were special campers, but they are all precious in the eyes of the Father. i could tell stories of each group of kids, and of each group of co's, but all that stuff just won't make as much sense to people who weren't there. i'm so unworthy of serving, yet God is so much bigger than that and he takes everything useless in me and makes it useful to him and his purposes. as if the kids weren't enough, i also was blessed to get to know so many amazing counselors and be able to love on and encourage them as they did the same for me. i've made friends in the last three months that i will keep my entire life.
i'll still be processing camp for the next few weeks and trying to unpackage everything God gave me this summer. but there's a start... | | |
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